


Dear Astrid

by LindenE



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-14
Updated: 2019-01-14
Packaged: 2019-10-10 06:14:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17420594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LindenE/pseuds/LindenE
Summary: Scraps of mostly burned, crumpled paper in the fireplace of a run-down room in a run-down inn somewhere along the road between Nicodranas and Trostenwald.





	Dear Astrid

Dear Astrid,  
So many letters I have written to you, and destroyed. I suspect this will be yet another. Most of all, I want to know that you are all right, that you are alive, and well, and happy. You were so strong, and I always imagine you smiling and confident as you move through your life and inhabit the world you were born for. I know that if you remember me at all, it must be with disgust and contempt. But a part of me hopes that there is also some remnant of affection, or even just nostalgia.  
\-----

The last time we saw one another we were both seventeen. Logically, I know that you have changed, although perhaps not as much as I. I realize you are no longer the girl that I remember, but a woman.   
\-----

I don't ask you to forgive me. You would be less than you are if you did. Only that - if things were somehow different, you would still smile for me.

\-----

Sometimes I find myself almost hating you. How could you– how could we do such terrible things? You were strong and courageous. I quite obviously could not be... but what we did was terrible. Does that mean you are as deeply flawed as I am? Or as deeply hurt, but just strong enough to surmount it?

\-----

I want to make all that has happened... different. You would still be the beautiful, happy, innocent girl of Blumenthal. In my dreams, you can find it in your heart to love the poor son of a soldier. More realistically, I hope that you will simply find a way to happiness, without the horrors of responsibility and power and death.

\------

There is not a night that goes by that I don’t think of you.

\-----

If there were ever to be a forever for us

**Author's Note:**

> I can't figure out how Caleb feels about Astrid. It occurred to me that he might be just as confused.


End file.
